Jerry on ECW.
Jerry Lawler: Why don't you bring your thugs & has-beens to the Manhattan
Center, which is an arena and not a bingo hall where you guys wrestle
in.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: No wonder why Jim Cornette kept Yokozuna silent all this time, his
English is terrible.
_______________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The Honky Tonk Man called Paul Bearer about cremation for Col.
Tom Parker. Paul Bearer said, "Do you want extra crispy, or original?"
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Shawn Michaels.
Jerry Lawler: Come on McMahon. If someone kept telling you how charasmatic, how
resilient, and how flamleboyante you are, your head would get so big, your
toupee wouldn't be able to fit on it.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Look at Phineus & Mankind. Put those two brains together and
what do you get?
Jerry Lawler: Close your eyes.
Vince McMahon: Sounds like Stu Hart.
Jerry Lawler: What you see is what you get.
Vince McMahon: Oh no, that sounds scary.
Jerry Lawler: Well I hear that the Godwinns are a little upset I understand
because....
Vince McMahon: The Godwinns! Why?
Jerry Lawler: Well...
Vince McMahon: I can understand them being upset having to face Vader and Mankind.
Jerry Lawler: I understand that before the match that Vader might have washed
his tights in their slop bucket.
Vince McMahon: What?
Jerry Lawler: And I hear that Mankind may have used the slop to groom his
hair.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Mankind is refusing to tag in Vader.
Jerry Lawler: Mankind likes just a little pain.
Vince McMahon: He likes a lot of pain.
Jerry Lawler: I understand when he was a little kid, the other kids in the
neighborhood use to trade and collect his teeth. That all started when
he got that bad attitude and he still has it.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Stu Hart.
Jerry Lawler: Why don't you put your teeth in backwards and eat yourself
Jerry Lawler: The Honky Tonk Man called Paul Bearer about cremation for Col.
Tom Parker. Paul Bearer said, "Do you want extra crispy, or original?"
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Shawn Michaels.
Jerry Lawler: Come on McMahon. If someone kept telling you how charasmatic, how
resilient, and how flamleboyante you are, your head would get so big, your
toupee wouldn't be able to fit on it.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Look at Phineus & Mankind. Put those two brains together and
what do you get?
Jerry Lawler: Close your eyes.
Vince McMahon: Sounds like Stu Hart.
Jerry Lawler: What you see is what you get.
Vince McMahon: Oh no, that sounds scary.
Jerry Lawler: Well I hear that the Godwinns are a little upset I understand
because....
Vince McMahon: The Godwinns! Why?
Jerry Lawler: Well...
Vince McMahon: I can understand them being upset having to face Vader and Mankind.
Jerry Lawler: I understand that before the match that Vader might have washed
his tights in their slop bucket.
Vince McMahon: What?
Jerry Lawler: And I hear that Mankind may have used the slop to groom his
hair.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Mankind is refusing to tag in Vader.
Jerry Lawler: Mankind likes just a little pain.
Vince McMahon: He likes a lot of pain.
Jerry Lawler: I understand when he was a little kid, the other kids in the
neighborhood use to trade and collect his teeth. That all started when
he got that bad attitude and he still has it.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Stu Hart.
Jerry Lawler: Why don't you put your teeth in backwards and eat yourself
Jerry Lawler: I think Stu and Helen Hart should get an appointment with Isaac
Yankem.
Vince McMahon: What for?
Jerry Lawler: So he can put braces on their false teeth!
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Phinneus is not exactly the brain of the Godwinn outfit.
Jerry Lawler: Is there a brain in the Godwinn outfit?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on the Godwinns.
Jerry Lawler: If these guys brains were bacon, they would be
sizzle-lean.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: It is so cold here in New York that Phineus's tooth was
rattling.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Get these hillbillies out of here, they are
starting to smell up the Manhattan Center.
________________________________________________________________________
Phinneus with a sleeper hold.
Jerry Lawler: When Phinneus gets those armpits around your nose, you will go
out instantly.
________________________________________________________________________
Godwinns lost to the Blackjacks.
Jerry Lawler: You know what they say in Bitters, Manure happens!
________________________________________________________________________
When the bWo came out on Raw is War.
Jerry Lawler: Look at this McMahon, this is a freak show.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on the bWo
Jerry Lawler: It should just be the BO.
________________________________________________________________________
Da Blue Guy: Hey Burger King man, "Say Hello to Da Blue Guy".
Jerry Lawler: It's more like, "Say hello to the fat guy".
________________________________________________________________________
Paul Heyman: If this WWF thing doesn't work out for you , we
can give you a job in ECW.
Vince McMahon: Thank you, I appreciate that.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, I've seen some of your shows. You need an announcer.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Big Stevie Cool.
Jerry Lawler: Don't you point your finger at me bean poll.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Da Blue Guy
Jerry Lawler: How fat is that guy anyway?
________________________________________________________________________
Marlena said she didn't feel too good but she would wrestle anyway.
Jerry Lawler: Let me feel you so I can see.
________________________________________________________________________
Sunny refusing to start the arm wrestling match.
Honkey Tonk Man: Come on Sunny, you're already warmed-up.
Jerry Lawler: She's starting to warm me up.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Tiny Tim
Jerry Lawler: I like the way you always look like an unmade bed.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Tiny Tim.
Jerry Lawler: So, where did you get that suit from? Did the man at
the carnival guess your weight wrong?
Yankem.
Vince McMahon: What for?
Jerry Lawler: So he can put braces on their false teeth!
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Phinneus is not exactly the brain of the Godwinn outfit.
Jerry Lawler: Is there a brain in the Godwinn outfit?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on the Godwinns.
Jerry Lawler: If these guys brains were bacon, they would be
sizzle-lean.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: It is so cold here in New York that Phineus's tooth was
rattling.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Get these hillbillies out of here, they are
starting to smell up the Manhattan Center.
________________________________________________________________________
Phinneus with a sleeper hold.
Jerry Lawler: When Phinneus gets those armpits around your nose, you will go
out instantly.
________________________________________________________________________
Godwinns lost to the Blackjacks.
Jerry Lawler: You know what they say in Bitters, Manure happens!
________________________________________________________________________
When the bWo came out on Raw is War.
Jerry Lawler: Look at this McMahon, this is a freak show.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on the bWo
Jerry Lawler: It should just be the BO.
________________________________________________________________________
Da Blue Guy: Hey Burger King man, "Say Hello to Da Blue Guy".
Jerry Lawler: It's more like, "Say hello to the fat guy".
________________________________________________________________________
Paul Heyman: If this WWF thing doesn't work out for you , we
can give you a job in ECW.
Vince McMahon: Thank you, I appreciate that.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, I've seen some of your shows. You need an announcer.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Big Stevie Cool.
Jerry Lawler: Don't you point your finger at me bean poll.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Da Blue Guy
Jerry Lawler: How fat is that guy anyway?
________________________________________________________________________
Marlena said she didn't feel too good but she would wrestle anyway.
Jerry Lawler: Let me feel you so I can see.
________________________________________________________________________
Sunny refusing to start the arm wrestling match.
Honkey Tonk Man: Come on Sunny, you're already warmed-up.
Jerry Lawler: She's starting to warm me up.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Tiny Tim
Jerry Lawler: I like the way you always look like an unmade bed.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Tiny Tim.
Jerry Lawler: So, where did you get that suit from? Did the man at
the carnival guess your weight wrong?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Taz.
Jerry Lawler: This guy is so short, he buys an ant farm for a
second house.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Taz.
Jerry Lawler: I have socks taller than him.
________________________________________________________________________
ta told Lawler to tell those wise cracks to his face.
Jerry Lawler: Tell him to come down and I will tell him how short he is to his
face. If I can bend down that far.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Taz.
Jerry Lawler: He looks a lot bigger on the Lucky Charms box.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: I believe we have Jerry "The King" Lawler on the line. Mr.
Lawler, are you there?
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, I'm here McMahon and I can't believe you accepted this
collect call. You're so cheap, you wouldn't even tip a canoe.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The WWF needs ECW like Michael Jordan needs Head & Shoulders.
________________________________________________________________________
The Mexican Wrestlers are in the ring.
Jerry Lawler: Look at Paul E. He needs to wear a mask. He looks like a
bloated-up toe frog.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on ECW.
Jerry Lawler: These guys are on good behavior. Why don't you guys do
want you normally do, like light a fan on fire. Or maybe stack about
ten tables and throw someone off the balcony.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Is that Paul Bearer's face, or did his butt grow a nose?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Paul Bearer's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Wow, what a pair!
Kevin Kelly: What are you talking about?
Jerry Lawler: I'm talking about Faaroqq & Sunny
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: McMahon, did you say that Jake "The Snake" called from Atlanta?
Vince McMahon: Yes, why?
Jerry Lawler: Atlanta, why? do they have a drinking contest in the Olympics?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on the Hart Family.
Jerry Lawler: I would love to be at the Hart's on Christmas morning.
Vince McMahon: What for?
Jerry Lawler: So I can be the special guest referee.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: You hit the nail right on the thumb.
________________________________________________________________________
Sunny with the Tag Team Belts.
Jerry Lawler: Hey McMahon, look at those belts.
Vince McMahon: Yeah King, they look nice. Now can you please pay
attention to the match.
Jerry Lawler: Come on McMahon. Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't
look at the menu.
Jerry Lawler on Taz.
Jerry Lawler: This guy is so short, he buys an ant farm for a
second house.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Taz.
Jerry Lawler: I have socks taller than him.
________________________________________________________________________
ta told Lawler to tell those wise cracks to his face.
Jerry Lawler: Tell him to come down and I will tell him how short he is to his
face. If I can bend down that far.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on Taz.
Jerry Lawler: He looks a lot bigger on the Lucky Charms box.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: I believe we have Jerry "The King" Lawler on the line. Mr.
Lawler, are you there?
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, I'm here McMahon and I can't believe you accepted this
collect call. You're so cheap, you wouldn't even tip a canoe.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The WWF needs ECW like Michael Jordan needs Head & Shoulders.
________________________________________________________________________
The Mexican Wrestlers are in the ring.
Jerry Lawler: Look at Paul E. He needs to wear a mask. He looks like a
bloated-up toe frog.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on ECW.
Jerry Lawler: These guys are on good behavior. Why don't you guys do
want you normally do, like light a fan on fire. Or maybe stack about
ten tables and throw someone off the balcony.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Is that Paul Bearer's face, or did his butt grow a nose?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Paul Bearer's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Wow, what a pair!
Kevin Kelly: What are you talking about?
Jerry Lawler: I'm talking about Faaroqq & Sunny
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: McMahon, did you say that Jake "The Snake" called from Atlanta?
Vince McMahon: Yes, why?
Jerry Lawler: Atlanta, why? do they have a drinking contest in the Olympics?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler on the Hart Family.
Jerry Lawler: I would love to be at the Hart's on Christmas morning.
Vince McMahon: What for?
Jerry Lawler: So I can be the special guest referee.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: You hit the nail right on the thumb.
________________________________________________________________________
Sunny with the Tag Team Belts.
Jerry Lawler: Hey McMahon, look at those belts.
Vince McMahon: Yeah King, they look nice. Now can you please pay
attention to the match.
Jerry Lawler: Come on McMahon. Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't
look at the menu.
Jerry Lawler on Alundra Blaze.
Jerry Lawler: She has a million dollar body, but a ten cent
face.
_______________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler said he was friends with Ken Shamrock. Shamrock said he doesn't know him.
Jerry Lawler: Come on, what's the matter? Have you been bounced around that
octagon too much?
_______________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: I hope that Hunter finishes off Flash Funk so I don't have to
listen to that music when he comes down, and so I don't have to see you
dance McMahon.
________________________________________________________________________
Chyna just kicked a wrestler.
Jerry Lawler: The Dallas Cowboys just lost their kicker. From the looks of
things, they can sign Chyna.
________________________________________________________________________
Jim Ross states that on the WWF superstar line there is a report of a wrestler
who got strip searched.
Jerry Lawler: Hey, was it Sunny?
Vince McMahon: All right, knock it off!
Jim Ross: Well, you're close.
Jerry Lawler: Whoa! I want to get a job at an airport.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: How can you not respect Bret Hart?
Jerry Lawler: I don't!
________________________________________________________________________
A crowd of girls were cheering Shawn Michaels.
Jerry Lawler: They got some ugly fans.
________________________________________________________________________
Shawn Michaels: I want to thank the fans...
Jerry Lawler: For What?!
________________________________________________________________________
Shawn Michaels thanks his fans for writing him cards.
Jerry Lawler: I'm surprised your fans can write.
________________________________________________________________________
Shawn Michaels said that he will be at WrestleMania13
Vince McMahon: I look forward to it.
Jerry Lawler: I don't.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Bret Hart has been...
Jerry Lawler: ...Whinning, crying, belly-aching. Now people are
starting to see the real Bret Hart.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Paul Bearer's face is so big, needs a bookmark
to find his chin.
________________________________________________________________________
Goldust is squatting.
Jerry Lawler: He looks like he's sitting on his thrown.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: She has a million dollar body, but a ten cent
face.
_______________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler said he was friends with Ken Shamrock. Shamrock said he doesn't know him.
Jerry Lawler: Come on, what's the matter? Have you been bounced around that
octagon too much?
_______________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: I hope that Hunter finishes off Flash Funk so I don't have to
listen to that music when he comes down, and so I don't have to see you
dance McMahon.
________________________________________________________________________
Chyna just kicked a wrestler.
Jerry Lawler: The Dallas Cowboys just lost their kicker. From the looks of
things, they can sign Chyna.
________________________________________________________________________
Jim Ross states that on the WWF superstar line there is a report of a wrestler
who got strip searched.
Jerry Lawler: Hey, was it Sunny?
Vince McMahon: All right, knock it off!
Jim Ross: Well, you're close.
Jerry Lawler: Whoa! I want to get a job at an airport.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: How can you not respect Bret Hart?
Jerry Lawler: I don't!
________________________________________________________________________
A crowd of girls were cheering Shawn Michaels.
Jerry Lawler: They got some ugly fans.
________________________________________________________________________
Shawn Michaels: I want to thank the fans...
Jerry Lawler: For What?!
________________________________________________________________________
Shawn Michaels thanks his fans for writing him cards.
Jerry Lawler: I'm surprised your fans can write.
________________________________________________________________________
Shawn Michaels said that he will be at WrestleMania13
Vince McMahon: I look forward to it.
Jerry Lawler: I don't.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Bret Hart has been...
Jerry Lawler: ...Whinning, crying, belly-aching. Now people are
starting to see the real Bret Hart.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Paul Bearer's face is so big, needs a bookmark
to find his chin.
________________________________________________________________________
Goldust is squatting.
Jerry Lawler: He looks like he's sitting on his thrown.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Just because Hunter Hearst Helmsley makes Pinnocio look like
a cat, don't make fun of him.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The only time Vader saw 90210 is when he got on the scale.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Get some chalk because once this Chicago Street Fight match
is over, draw lines will have to be made.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Hey waiter, come over here. I think Stu Hart just ordered some
Jerital on the rocks.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Helen is wearing some antique jewelry.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The reason why Helen Hart is not here is because I heard she
went shopping at an antique shop, and they decided to keep her.
________________________________________________________________________
Chyna pulled down the rope causing Bart Gunn to fall.
Jim Ross: King, you must have selective vision or something?
Jerry Lawler: I'm so mesmerized by her beautiful face.
________________________________________________________________________
A Mexican Wrestler with a lot of hair coming from his mask.
Jerry Lawler: Is that Venom's real hair, or does he go to the same toupee shop
you go to McMahon?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: McMahon thinks Snoop Doggy Dog belongs to Charlie Brown.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: When someone told the Brooklyn Brawler not to change, he
thought they meant his clothes.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Maybe the Hitman will apologize for his action?
Jerry Lawler: Fat Chance!
Bret Hart: First off, I would like to apologize.
Jerry Lawler: What?
a cat, don't make fun of him.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The only time Vader saw 90210 is when he got on the scale.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Get some chalk because once this Chicago Street Fight match
is over, draw lines will have to be made.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Hey waiter, come over here. I think Stu Hart just ordered some
Jerital on the rocks.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Helen is wearing some antique jewelry.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The reason why Helen Hart is not here is because I heard she
went shopping at an antique shop, and they decided to keep her.
________________________________________________________________________
Chyna pulled down the rope causing Bart Gunn to fall.
Jim Ross: King, you must have selective vision or something?
Jerry Lawler: I'm so mesmerized by her beautiful face.
________________________________________________________________________
A Mexican Wrestler with a lot of hair coming from his mask.
Jerry Lawler: Is that Venom's real hair, or does he go to the same toupee shop
you go to McMahon?
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: McMahon thinks Snoop Doggy Dog belongs to Charlie Brown.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: When someone told the Brooklyn Brawler not to change, he
thought they meant his clothes.
________________________________________________________________________
Vince McMahon: Maybe the Hitman will apologize for his action?
Jerry Lawler: Fat Chance!
Bret Hart: First off, I would like to apologize.
Jerry Lawler: What?
Jerry Lawler: I don't know what the seven wonders of the world are, but I know
Sunny has got two of them.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: What is Sunny going to do Ross, be the guest ring announcer?
Jim Ross: Time keeper, King.
Jerry Lawler: Oh she can keep time with me anytime. Don't waist your
time with that idiot Rocky Maivia.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: I see Sunny in my dreams every night. She'll probably see
you, Jim Ross in her dreams, if she eats too much.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The Manhattan Center is where I first confronted Stu and
Helen Hart. The couple that produced more tragedies than Shakespeare.
Jim Ross: That is also where you had a confrontation with Tiny Tim.
Jerry uses Undertaker's voice.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, May he Rest In Peace. Ha! Ha! Ha!
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Who can't get distracted seeing a big yellow freak out at
ringside.
Sunny has got two of them.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: What is Sunny going to do Ross, be the guest ring announcer?
Jim Ross: Time keeper, King.
Jerry Lawler: Oh she can keep time with me anytime. Don't waist your
time with that idiot Rocky Maivia.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: I see Sunny in my dreams every night. She'll probably see
you, Jim Ross in her dreams, if she eats too much.
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: The Manhattan Center is where I first confronted Stu and
Helen Hart. The couple that produced more tragedies than Shakespeare.
Jim Ross: That is also where you had a confrontation with Tiny Tim.
Jerry uses Undertaker's voice.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, May he Rest In Peace. Ha! Ha! Ha!
________________________________________________________________________
Jerry Lawler: Who can't get distracted seeing a big yellow freak out at
ringside.